22 March 2020, Seb and I got engaged on the beach at Portheras Cove, Cornwall. It was impromptu. It was messy. It was perfect.
We wanted to get married immediately. “Let’s just do it,” we said. We shared the news with friends and family and started carving out a plan. We would say our vows at Penzance Town Hall, then have fish & chips at the harbour. But less than 48 hours later, the whole country had gone into National lockdown, and weddings were called off indefinitely!
As the months went on, the momentum of planning a wedding started to build. By the time it was summer, I had read every wedding magazine available and was in full Carrie Bradshaw mode from Sex and The City. Unfortunately, my SATC experience was more like the movie where Carrie is so caught up in the planning of a wedding extravaganza, it had now become a circus.
I felt an increasing pressure of expectation about what I should be doing to prepare. Should I arrange a boutique visit so that I can try on a big meringue style dress? I’d rather stick pins in my eyes. Should I be on a diet to try to look like someone else for one day? Nope. Should I stay quiet when it came to the speeches and let the men do the talking? Not going to happen!
Although well-intended, all the advice and suggestions offered only added to the feeling that we were creating an event that excited everyone but us. We realised that this big, Cornish wedding planned for spring 2021 just wasn’t making either of us happy.
We paused. We took a breath. With the help of a life coach friend, we were able to visualise what our ideal wedding scene would be – and it was nothing like our Pinterest board! We had come full circle and managed to find our way back to creating a day that was right for us. What we landed on was a micro wedding in London that winter. Seb grew up in Chelsea so the Registry Office there was an obvious choice. We will do a big celebration in Cornwall in 2022 with our Modern Rituals celebrant Natalie when the world is calmer and we’re able to celebrate alongside all of our family and friends – without restrictions.
Seb and I wanted to celebrate our wedding for his big birthday coming up so we settled on 11 Dec 2020 – the day before Seb turned 50. It is also the date of our beloved dog Otto’s birthday. I had decided that I wanted to wear the same dress my Mum wore when she married my dad in the 70s. Within a week the venue was booked, my Mum had started planning the dress using her original dress pattern and friends & family were offering us time & money to help us pull it off.
The ever-changing Covid guidelines made life difficult. The emotional roller coaster of weddings being off – then on – then off again was exhausting, never mind the guilt of messing guests around coupled with the worry of family members becoming unwell. I've lost count of the number of times we had to rewrite the guest list as guidelines were revised. We had to make some hard decisions. The toughest and most emotional by far was not having our parents at the wedding. But given both sets of parents are over 70, this wasn’t a risk we were willing to take.
Aside from Seb, the thing that kept me going through all the trials and tribulations of arranging a Covid wedding was the women in my life. They rallied round to make everything as special as they could, despite restrictions. We couldn’t do one big bash so I ended up having two hen parties; afternoon tea with my mum and my sister at The Goring and an engagement party my girlfriends arranged with games, poems, and musical entertainment via Zoom.
My mum spent much of her lockdown making my wedding dress with some advice from a costume designer friend. We managed several fittings via post and the help of a neighbour plus meet-ups out of lockdown. My school friend Katie Dickerson-Firth owns bridesmaid dress brand TH&TH sent several gowns to try. My sister brought her organisation skills to be our wedding planner, doing my makeup & hair, and gifted my wedding bouquet. My sister-in-law decorated the reception room, my best friend from school made my hairpiece and my group of friends in the states all clubbed together to help me buy my classic Carrie Bradshaw blue Monala Blahniks! I count my blessings to have such a tribe of creative and talented women around me. I couldn’t have done it without them.
Arranging a wedding during Covid meant that we had to do things differently. It’s not for the faint-hearted but reacting to the ever-changing guidelines and surviving in a pandemic reminded us of why we were getting married in the first place. It helped us to identify which parts of the wedding were important to us. We may not have had a traditional approach to our wedding day, but there were some rituals we wanted to hold on to. We did it the way that was best for us. No regrets.
On 11 December 2020 Seb and I said “I do” at Chelsea Registry Office with 13 of our close friends & family around us. Many of our loved ones were missed, although entirely there in spirit. Cat Powers ‘Sea of Love’ played as we signed the register. We had a small wedding reception at The Hollywood Arms where we had speeches (including my own) and the cutting of the cake. We then spent our wedding night in a suite at Blakes Hotel, a fabulous surprise wedding gift from an old friend Ferdy Unger-Hamilton.
After a stressful year for so many reasons, our wedding day was nothing but joy and love, and laughter. I’m so proud of us for pulling it together in such testing times. Being Mrs. Bartle-Blakemore feels entirely worth it.
Photography: Alba Turnbull Flowers: Roseur Engagement ring: Alex Monroe Wedding band: Kirsty Bridgewater Hat: Mudu London Shoes: Manolo Blahnik Registry: Chelsea Old Town Hall Reception: The Hollywood Arms