Everything about our romance challenges what I spent most of my adulthood expecting!
Rocking up at a business support group one night, the last thing on my mind was trying to bag a man. I was wearing old leggings, trainers with holes in, zero make-up but I was wearing a bright pink hat that said LOVE on it. If I had known I was going to meet my future husband that night, I might have made more of an effort!
My life was a little chaotic at the time of meeting Seb. I was down on my luck having essentially burnt out from running my PR business, Well Spirited PR. My Crohns Disease was flaring up (a big red flag that I had been pushing myself too hard) and I was just physically and emotionally exhausted. So, I washed up in Cornwall, with no fixed abode, house sitting up and down the county.
I remember the first night we met like it was yesterday. Seb had a swagger about him that I was immediately drawn to and he made me laugh with stories about his dog. The first thing we connected on was humor and we have laughed every day since. Even though we’d only been chatting for a few minutes, his kindness caught me off guard and I suddenly found myself in tears. I was worn out and a little lost. Anyway, as we parted ways at the end of the evening he asked if I was coming back, to which I muttered “I suppose”.
Truth is - I only went back the following week (wearing makeup and a dress) because I knew he was going to be there. I told my neighbour about this older guy I’d met (Seb is 12 years old than me) who I had a bit of a crush on and we laughed about it. I didn’t really think anything would come of it and besides, life was chaotic enough at the time.
One day in April 2019 and Seb called to ask if I'd like to join him for a dog walk on Gwithian beach. Seven months had passed and our initial friendly meet ups for a cup of tea had grown into long telephone conversations. I think that we’d both secretly fallen in love by that point, but didn’t know what to do about it. I’m not sure what I had expected, but I put on my red lipstick for our walk that day, expecting…. something. Nothing happened. It was the most awkward dog walk I’ve been on. I went home and wondered why I was feeling so confused.
Next day, Seb called me and blurted out “I can’t do this anymore’. I knew exactly what he was talking about. We couldn’t pretend that we were happy being just friends any more. It was on that phone conversation we decided to change the dynamic of our relationship. We planned a first date and our journey as a couple began.
Seb suggested I spend a week with him and his dog Otto in his little cottage in the far West of Cornwall. The minute I walked through the door I felt like I’d finally found my home. And I think my body did too because my Crohns Disease deteriorated rapidly. It became apparent I was going nowhere anytime soon. It wasn’t our plan to move in together after a few months of dating. Seb had made it clear he didn’t want to live with me until he knew we were getting married and I said I wanted to get my own place to feel independent. Somebody was laughing at our plans - I never moved out!
The first seven months of us living together I was seriously unwell. Unable to work or pay my way in any way other than helping out with chores, food and dog walking. In many ways it wasn’t the start we had in mind. But it never interrupted the fun times we had together - swims in the sea, long evenings on the beach, road trips around Cornwall and the growing love between us. They say it’s not until you see someone experience something difficult that you really know them. Well, we jumped headfirst into that test! Seb proved to be the kindest man I have ever met.
March 22nd 2020, we were on a casual dog walk on the beach at Portheras Cove knowing something was seriously off in the world and both feeling panic stricken about what was to come. I exclaimed “I don’t want to go through this without us being married”. It felt like we were going to war and not knowing who was going to make it through. The next moment, Seb went down on one knee and asked me to marry him. His arm was in a sling at the time and there no was no ring, but the sun was setting, and it was our perfectly messy proposal. Just like our life together so far.
My answer, of course, was a HELL YES.
Photography: Alba Turnbull